This is my take on it, as a recovering addict.
My choice is whether or not to pick up. If I choose to use, then my addiction takes over and I will not stop until I run out of money, dope, or have some huge consequence happen.
I had the same problem, when I first went to meetings, and was told I was powerless. I was furious!! I finally realized I AM powerless once I start using. However, I have the choice to use or not to use.
When I was deep into my addiction, using 24/7, that's all I wanted. It wasn't until I had some clean time, and realized that my using life wasn't really a life at all, that I made the choice not to pick up.
Don't know if this helps any, but it's how I figured it out for me.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy