Checkity-check-check...
The day's brighter. I got emailed back by my program director that was, I would say, cautiously hopeful. Grateful that I named what was going on... it was clear to everyone that something was. There are problems I had last year that have completely resolved, and odd new ones that have popped up. None of it really makes sense outside of new sobriety so I think people are like, "what is up with this girl?!"
I know if I drank yesterday I would have numbed out, only to wake up to the same, yet intensified negative feelings I was having until I picked up the first drink... plus I'd be hung-over. Now, I have worked through some of it and it's a new day. I have a sort of grief hangover (?) I guess, but I'll take it. I can work with that.
Since this is secular check-in, I feel like I can safely kvetch: What is up with saying, when something horribly heart-rendingly sad and senseless happens, "Everything happens for a reason"? Is it strange that that reeeally bothers me? I guess the way I see it, is things just happens, and learn lessons from it whenever you can- life is fragile, how to help someone grieve, I can't control everything, are things I'm taking from my recent experience for example- but to say it happened for some reason? It bugs me.
Bam, Zen, Ananda... love you guys!