I have to say that in some ways i disagree with me badgering him not helping....it is making it harder for him to use..if i say nothing, it is justifying his use.....I feel that loved ones can do something and sometimes even though addicts do not want to get help, if pushed into it, once they are there, they may get it....Instead of me sitting here and waiting to see if he makes a move to get help..i can tell him that is what he needs to do in order to save the marriage, and if he doesnt than i HAVE TO keep true to my word....
He will end up resenting me?? Ya know what?? thats HIS problem...maybe one day he will see I was trying to help him....I dont care if he ends up resenting me---look at what everything he has done has done to me and my kids and our lives???? He has a choice--a choice to get help---all addicts have a choice.....sometimes they may need a push to get there.....there is more than one way to look at it--i know real people where the wife has told her husband to go get help, and he did and it worked. If it doesnt, well then i can at least say that i tried....
as for getting couseling..im still in therapy--never stopped....i also am going to be a substitute teacher until something more permanent comes along..but me getting a job isnt going to make me feel more independent...i had a full-time job for 2 years and it didnt help..i wasnt making nearly enough to support myself and the kids, and i never will be able to because i dont have the experience or the skills to get a decent paying job.
Especially the way the economy and job market is now...
I just came here for support so that i can stay focused and stay strong.....I beleive my ah needs a push into getting help...if he goes just to please me and if it doesnt last or work out, then again, i can at least say i tried....and on the other hand if he goes and it does work....well then wasnt the effort well worth it???