Originally Posted by
rozied 
Joey called me twice yesterday. He & I spoke about alot of things including his addiction. He told me he has been clean a year now ( he said he could have gotten coke in jail & it was readily available in Wk Release ) but then he went on to say that the only vice he ever had was coke & he enjoyed it very much & it aggravated him so that he couldn't use occasionally like most people. He also said he knows he cannot use because he is under supervision, but that doesn't change the fact that he said he would like to. I said Joey I cannot understand how you could even think like this after all you have lost because of it, and how it messed up your life. He said I know I cannot ever let it interfere with my life again.
To me this is warped thinking. If he thinks like this the first time he is not under supervision will he use & then lose control like he has done for the last 20yrs???
He has my head reeling!
GRRRR!!!
Sounds pretty normal to me. I LOVED my crystal meth. It made me feel normal. What surprises me is that people don't understand that, lol.
Giving it up felt like a death, I had to grieve it like a person and I never thought I would feel "good or normal" again.
There are times I wish I could feel that good agåin, not have to feel things, deal with certain things that I still think about, of course, who wouldn't want a break from reality like that. It was the best feeling in the world.
But You just grow up, We change, We get better. Just because we want something doesn't mean we get to go out and do it. I had no idea what I was getting myself into or that I would like meth so much that first line. 30 seconds later I had a new life.
We can't always change the thoughts we have that pop in our head, whether we act on them is a different story.
If we didn't have those "thoughts" we probably never would have gotten addicted in the first place.
I would try not to reel, and just be. It is what it is.
That's just my take on it anywho.. :ghug