Old 09-26-2008, 08:31 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
kj0975
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 2,859
There could be a million reasons why he left and I'm sure he said things to intentionaly hurt you. I have been there and I could do everything he wanted and pleased in bed or in any other way YET it was always my fault he would have a bad day. Its like I hung the moon and stars for him yet it was never enough. Maybe this other girl is doing everything he wants her do to cause she in manipulating her. Manipulating her to do things and says just the right things to her. They are always great men in the begining then they turn into monsters when you dont jump when they tell you so.

They are so used to being given their every whime that when u finally stop giving in to them and realise your being manipulated they say every mean thing they have to make you think its ALL your fault and its not. They have this very mean thing about them and know how to push your buttons to make u feel like its your fault. There will come a time when the new women who probably support him financialy and gives him everything he want will come to her senses and will learn to say no and he will kick her to the curb and will try to get you back and say all the right things and will promise to change and be the perfect man and father. Until u say one thing he doesnt life and then he will say nasty things to you again.

I know the pain your dealing with and the hurt and the self blaming your going over and over in your head. Even if you were perfect and did everything he wanted it will never be enough. I know its hard now but look at this as a blessing being away from the abusivness and the put downs and feeling if you only did this things would be differernt. No matter what you did it still wouldnt be good enough. For right now while your suffering the pain and the what ifs take time to be good to yourself. I know its hard but this is the time for you and your kids and time for peace and no chaos in your life. You will see the happiness and appreciate all the good things and learn who you are which is a great mom and a good wife who was taken advantage of. Take time once a week to go out with your friends and meet new people you will be amazed that their are people out there who will treat you with respect without expecting anything in return.

I know your heart is hurting and it will take time and time to work things out in your mind but you will fell alot better not wondering what he is doing or what drugs hes on or sleeping with your purse and hiding things. Take this time to find yourself and what YOU like. Your a great person who deserves great thing and all good things come in tiem. I was you once 10yrs ago I thought my life was over and I would never be happy again once the crack addict dump me for a better woman who could cook and he could sneak in crack while I would tolerate it. I found who I was and I wasnt a doormat and people really like me for me. In time it will work itself out. Time heals all wounds. I am now with a great guy who doesnt do drugs and appreciates me and treats me like a queen. Cause I tolerate no disrespect done that once an learned a valuable lesson. It was a life lessen and I appreciate myself more for finally defending myself and not trying to please someone who I could never please no matter how hard I tried it wasnt my fault at all it was HIS and HIS insecurities and addiction nothing to do with me. Hold your head high and demand respect and you will get it. Hope this makes sense might not today but will in the long run (((HUGS))))
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