First, my middle daughter the AD and my youngest the SPOILED BRAT, both react about the same to the word "no". Everything is still about them and what they want and no concern of what it does to us. Although youngest, age 26, is coming around and making an effort to pay things back, but she still has her days. She is what I let her become by always caving in and giving her what she wanted. I did learn if I wanted her to change, I also had to. It's tough trying to grow a backbone this late it life but it's forming a little more day by day.
Your daughter sounds strong and sure of herself. Listen to her. She grew up in the same atmosphere and doesn't sound the worse off for it. Good luck, and get a car back, you deserve it.