I have had to get over a huge resentment of a family member for over 10 years of sexual abuse when I was a child.
Have I forgotten - no.
Was it my fault - no
Was it fair - no
Was my childhood awful - yes
Have I forgiven him - yes
Counseling - and recovery through working the steps with a sponsor in Alanon - has freed me from the emotional pain and agony that went along with the resentment and hatred. Resentment is refeeling. And I did it daily for years.
Forgiveness is an action. I had to forgive for my mental health - to move on with my life. When I was a child, they did have power over me. But now I am adult, and if I continue to have my life affected by what he did, he still has power over me.
The 12 steps have always worked for me - with this biggest resentment, as well as smaller ones. Was it easy - no. Was it necessary - yes.
Feel free to PM me if you want more specifics.
Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler
