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Old 09-08-2008, 11:10 AM
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CrushedbyCrack
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 72
Taking care of me...

Well, my hubby is in inpatient rehab right now, and I'm reading through Codependent No More. I actually thought that with him gone for a while, I would have time to get stuff done that I had been wanting to do around my house. But I'm finding that I still don't have the time. I thought that because I was always worried about where he was and what he was doing, and always waiting for him to come home, then when he was home, I tried to spend time with him every chance I got, that I would have all this time to do what I wanted now that he is not around. Now I'm finding that I still don't have time.

I read in CNM that you can be one of those people that are a "caretaker" and I do have 2 kids of my own (14, 12) and 2 stepdaughters (14, 11) to take care of so to speak. I'm floundering with whether I am caretaking them or just meeting my responsibilities with them as a parent should be. For instance, all weekend long, I was hoping to work in my shop (I have a picture framing shop on the side as a hobby). But, it was my stepdaughter's 14th birthday this weekend and my youngest daughter had a spend the night birthday party to go to. SO, Friday night I spent the entire evening going to get a birthday present for my daughter's friend, dropping her off at the party, then the mother asked me if I could help her drive the kids to the football game (since I have a van and she has a little economy car) so I did. Then I had my oldest daughter with me so I took her out to dinner since we hadn't eaten yet, then we went to the mall and got a gift for my oldest stepdaughter for her birthday. Then we went to Walmart and got a few groceries. By the time we got home it was 11pm and I was exhausted, so didn't work in my shop. On Saturday, I had to pick up my stepdaughters from their mom's then popped the cake in the oven for the birthday girl, went and picked up my daughter from the slumber party, we ate quick sandwiches for lunch, then we went to visit my hubby in the treatment center. Got home from there, wrapped the birthday presents, iced the cake, worked in the garden for a couple of hours, made dinner, had the birthday celebration (she blew out the candles, we ate the cake and ice cream, and she opened her presents), then it was about 8:30 and I was so exhausted I sat down and started watching "Misery" with the kids and then fell asleep in the chair. Sunday morning I had to take my stepdaughters home, went grocery shopping for the week's groceries, ate lunch. Fell asleep in the chair and took a two hour nap. Woke up at 3 and took my car to get the oil changed, got crickets for the lizards, and took my oldest daughter to the mall so she could get a shirt (with her money) for picture day. I actually bought myself a shirt too! Made a quick dinner when we got home, then it was about 7:30 or so. Went ahead and canned the tomatoes and made pickles out of the cucumbers (so they wouldn't go bad) and by the time I was done, it was 11pm.

So tell me this....am I crazy or do I just need about 48 hours in a day?? Am I being a "caretaker" for my kids, or is this all just normal mom stuff that you do when you have four girls (ages 14, 14, 12, 11) and a household to run?? What can I do to feel like I'm not always running out of time...because that is how I always feel...like I don't have time. And I always thought that was my husband's fault. Now I know it's not...unless there is something I'm missing...
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