NoelleR, I don't think it's out there at all. It's what finally freed me from the anger towards my RAD's ex-abf. He's out of jail now and they see each other at our local NA meetings all the time. I still won't allow him here at my home or to call my house. I need time to get to know him before that happens and it will be away from here, if at all. Everything I know about him has been as an addict, not someone in recovery. He'll have to earn it this time around.
Hugs to you marle, I know how much it hurts.