Many folks have been taught incorrectly regarding defects of character. I always tell my sponsees to read the literature for themselves. And since sponsorship is a two-way street, maybe you can help her understand.
"The exact nature of our wrongs is our character defects." - IWH&W, page 57
"The admission we made of the nature of our wrongs, our character defects, is neccessary if we are to be ready to have them removed." - IWH&W, page 59