Welcome to SR. I'm glad you are here, but sorry for the circumstances.
I was the best at taking control of my exh's money, it didn't matter though, if he manged to get his hands on some, then it was my fault, I should have been more diligent, I should have done this or that. I was set up as the fall guy for his failures. It played havoc on my own life.
I had a hard time comming to grips with the fact that I COULD NOT help him. Everything that I was doing for him in the form of help, was actually helping him to NOT go into recovery. As some of the wise people on this board say, you can enable them right into a grave. Helping, is not helping, it is hurting.
What you can do is read, read, read and then read some more. Educate yourself on what enabling is, find some meetings to go to for friend and family. Keep comming here, and you will see yourself over and over, and you will see recovery for us.
Will that make him stop? Will that help him? No and maybe. Breaking the cycle of enabling can help him stop. More importantly, it can help you.
Sending Big Hugs and Prayers
B