You are doing great, Shivaya! Keep up the good work! There are so many who have been where you are and it can be done and your life will be better- promise!
One comment: I was terrified that my exAH would want to do all kinds of visitation with our kids, take them places drunk, etc etc and drove myself crazy with the "whatifs". Turns out that he had virtually NO INTEREST in the kids after our separation and I painfully realized it was because taking care of young kids can INTERFERE with one's drinking and drug use and we can't have that now can we? Once he understood that the kids were not going to be available as a tool to manipulate me all those threats just abruptly ended. As long as I remembered what was #1 in his life, I relaxed.
Now my kids think of him more as a crazy uncle or something than an actual "Dad".