I like to think of myself most days as reasonably smart, and yet I stay with ABF. I could kick myself for not seeing the signs earlier and NOT running once I did see them. For the longest time I kept hoping his promises to quit would happen and I see now how much I was enabling.
Things are changing around here, and one thing I'm glad about is we do not live together. This is so difficult because for the longest time when I would imagine my future, it always included him being a part of it. I see now I was attempting to change him into someone that does not drink. I know I didn't cause it, I can't control it yet I always hoped my love for him would be enough for him to want to change. I also know there is no cure for alcoholism.
When I look back at the things I have accepted in our relationship and it makes me feel ashamed. The lack of respect shown to me at times. I was never like this before him.
Heck I walked away from a 27 year marriage when I found out X was cheating, and for whatever reason I haven't yet left ABF.
I also see how his family enables his drinking (they pretend he doesn't drink). I know they are happy that I am in his life and I honestly believe when it comes down to it, it's because it allows them to not have to deal with his drinking. Kinda like it's not their problem.
ABF has the kindest heart, will give the shirt off his back to someone that needs it, or even asks for it, would do anything in the world for me with the exception of not drinking anymore. He keeps promising, and trust me, I no longer believe them, nor do I for one second think he can quit on his own.
ABF is a good problem solver when it comes to fixing anyone else's problems, he's great with my son's (23 and 30) has no kids of his own, loves my grandson, and would always help them or be there for them when they need him. Yet it sounds selfish when I try to just think what is right for me. My decision effects more then just me.
Sorry for rambling, guess I'm hoping if I keep coming back and reading this it will help me to make the decision I know needs to be made.
Last edited by Summer2008; 08-30-2008 at 06:25 PM.