How do you lay it all to rest without alcohol?
Time.Patience-and we are not good at being patient as a rule, us alcoholics. It sounds to me like you're doing a lot of things right-you're seeing a therapist to work through your abuse issues for example.
It's important to remember that we didn't reach this place of desperation overnight-so it's going to take some time to reach a place of peace too.It isn't instant.There's no miracle cure, no magic pill-but it does require committment to keep putting one foot in front of the other.To choose not to drink today.....
I completely understand wanting to drink to forget the abuse stuff or the failed relationships-but the fact is-it won't make it go away and it isn't a way of dealing with it.All it does is put these issues on 'hold' and they resurface as time goes by.
All I can tell you is-drinking never made anything better for me.It made it 100 times worse because not ony would I have the same issues?I'd then end up with remorse and guilt over drinking and the stupid things I did when in that state.And the depression was a whole lot worse then too.Drinking can't help you.Ever.
Keep posting and know you're not alone here.
Julesxox