I have a little different take on this. Maybe I missing something that might have showed up in a prior post of yours that I haven't read. But I was just thinking that not permitting her to see whomever is just controlling on your part period. Yes, I get that its your house, your rules, but when do you let go? I would keep it simple. If the rules were no using, then that's the rule. If she uses behind seeing the X, then she's out because she used. If the rules were she does XYZ chores and pays some sort of rent, for example, then that's the rule. Telling an adult who to see just smacks of codependency and controlling IMO - but that's just me. Now emotionally speaking, I'd be freaking out too - and sad, and disappointed and praying. But that's your stuff to deal with in your own recovery way and jumping right to controlling the other person to stop the uncomfortable emotions you feel... well it just doesn't feel right to me. Again, just my take on this.