(((((((Marle))))))))))
I'm thinking this is deja vu.
About this time 5 years ago I went through the same thing in my house. RAD was living at home and was working, trying to stay clean and sober. I'd been going to Al Anon long enough to know to keep my mouth shut, but I'd slip up every now and then. (I know you can't believe that.
)
Her behavior and attitude were slipping, and in my gut I knew things weren't going well. So one Sunday a.m. after her dad went to wake her up to go to church, she just went off on us....caused the big scene like you spoke of. It went from bad to worse with her telling us she just couldn't live in our house anymore if we were going to treat her that way. (I guess waking someone up is classified as cruelty to children or something.)
She announced she HAD to leave and began packing everything she owned, including all her winter sweaters which I now find quite amusing since it was the dead of summer and we live in the south where it wasn't going to be cold for many months. Guess she was planning on staying gone forever in her mind.
Thank God, husband and I had enough recovery under our belt to say, "Well, do what you have to do." Husband lost it for a minute, feeling guilty, and I quickly reminded him that this was her choice and she basically had it made in the shade at our house...roof over her head, meals, car. We just wanted her to go to work and do recovery. (I know...so demanding of us.)
She left...stormed out...acting as if we were the worst parents in the world. Left with all her sweaters and no shoes. Sorry, I can't help but chuckle at that one, too. She had NO money, NO job, NO gas in her car and NOWHERE to go that I knew of. I was scared for her and us because if something happened to her I was going to hurt for her and I, myself, would be hurting, too.
Again, thank God for recovery. In a few days she called, saying, "For God's sake, can't you just help your daughter!" Interpreted meant, "Give me money." I dug into my recovery toolbelt real quick like and came up with the statement, "Honey, daddy and I are always willing to do what we think is in your best interest and we just don't think giving you money is in your best interest right now." Silence on the other end.
In a couple of weeks she called, telling me she needed help, needed to go inpatient somewhere because she knew she couldn't do it on her own. And she did go inpatient and that was the beginning of her serious recovery.
Marle, you show such recovery already, but just in case doubt is creeping in, just remember that your HP can use what seems to be a bad decision or situation for good. My HP has shown me, on more than one occasion, that He is in control even when my human eyes see nothing but bad.
Hugs and prayers for you and your daughter,
Hangin' In