One Day At a Time . . . Right?
I gotta take this One Day At a Time right? What I've decided for the rest of this day is to not answer calls from my AS. I'm quickly falling back into being his bank and letting it happen.
I work FT Mon-Fri 7:30-4 and have just started a PT job at a nearby fast food joint. I'm doing a payday advance every 2 weeks and was doing that off my checking account too, but had gotten the checking account one paid up, but not I'm back into both pay advances . . . what an idiot I am, what a failure I am, I need help from myself!
I'm angry and sad all at the same time. I posted that I thought I had made some progress in my recovery, but all it was, was that my AS wasn't asking me for money at the time. I am scared of saying no, I wish there were someone who could just take over for me, do the hard stuff for me. I know I need to and I know how low I feel when I don't say no, when I take the easy road and give in. But who is that hurting??? ME!
Friends, give me strength. God, give me strength. Please.