Your life sounds right where mine was 5mnths ago! Been with ah for 12 years 2 amazing little children. I had never been on my own and was so scared to even think about it. One morning I had one of those "ah ha" moments and I realized I was ALONE for years-I had been taking care of me and the kids ALONE!! It was sooooo empowering to realize how much I was doing completely alone. It was in that moment I decided to leave-for my children and myself. I'm not saying leave him.....well I am I guess-sorry!! But I'm just saying take an iventory of your day to day life and truley ask yourself-"am I doing this alone" not just concrete things like the dealing with the children, but on an emotional and physical level!! Emotionally you are alone at the moment-he cannot be providing much while in active addiction other then adding to your stress level!! You are alone my dear and frankly your doing a damn fine job!!
Take Care!!!!!!!!!!!