I havent been to meetings in a while...i dont know if they ever really helped me.
I've been going to meetings for many years and during the times when I stopped going, I found out, the hard way, that I really needed to be there. Al-Anon is about face to face support...if I'm not present I'm not giving or sharing my recovery. Reading the books and learning about it are not enough for me.
I have very little self esteem. I have no family to help me, no one strong to be by my side and support
I myself find little support aside from this site and my Al-Anon friends. I find that it's up to me to find ways to fill my need of support and friendship.
It might be a good idea to have a checkup with your GP to make sure that all is well with you physically and maybe you can talk to him/her about how you are feeling so sad.
Please take good care of yourself.