what do you do when you get scared and/or deeply depressed?
Don't know about any of you, but i am sick and tired of hearing me over and over again about how scared I am, and depressed and I cant deal with this, and feeling sorry for myself.....and I sometimes feel like I cant take it anymore and I just want to give up...I am not living, only surviving...I feel very very alone in this world....
Somtimes i tell myself that things could be worse....that i should be thankful that my kids are healthy and that I am healthy and at least they have me that they can count on.
I just am so depressed and I cant get out of it. I went from having a full-time job to a part time job to no job.... I quit my full-time job thinking that everything was ok with my ah---he has only stopped using for 3 months...stupid me....then he went back to using memorial day weekend..I feel that because of his ego, and because he cannot look at himself, he will never, ever admit that he needs help.
I guess I am just writing this to vent.....I need to feel better and sometimes this helps. I havent been to meetings in a while...i dont know if they ever really helped me.
I just wanted to know what you do when you are so scared and depressed. What is it exactly that i am so scared of?? I think it is "being alone" my therapist wants me to write about it and really think about so that at our next session we can talk about it. I myself, am not sure, except that I dont think i have the strength to make it alone. I am so tired, and I dont even think I am smart enough to get and keep a full-time job that pays decently. i have never been on my own, i lived with my mom until i got married. I have no backbone, no faith in myself. I have been married almost 16 years and with my ah for about 20 years. I have never been with anyone else seriously. I have very little self esteem. I have no family to help me, no one strong to be by my side and support me.
Again, I just wanted to vent, to get this out, to reach out and hope someone hears my cries for help. I know I have to be strong for my girls, and i am trying, but it all seems too overwhelming for me......
thanks for listening-----
Drained....in nj