A Loner in Sweden
by Jan A.
Many years ago I became intellectually clear over that I was an alcoholic. I belonged to the 10% of the Western population that had no mechanism to stop drinking once started. Conclusion: Don't ever drink alcohol! - Easy to say. However, I had studied articles and books about the Minnesota model and I guessed that the most effective part of the treatment was that alcoholics came together. They talked about their experiences of drinking and their hopes to get rid of this heavy burden.
At the same time research has showed that a main factor causing alcoholism was the personal genetic constitution. Alcoholism was not bad moral and insufficient self control. Alcoholism could be regarded as a "bad construction" like diabetes or as a sickness. We alcoholics got more self respect by hearing this but the problem was still there.
I had only vaguely heard about AA at that time, so I didn't join a group. Maybe there was none to find in my town. Instead I started talking with alcoholic friends about trying to stop drinking. Most of us really wanted to achieve sobriety. During these talks and discussions I was sober all the time. Weeks added to months and I was still sober. Sometimes I had to help my friends to the detox clinic. Of course I sometimes was tempted to drink during that time but I could manage it by reading the literature of the Minnesota model.
After about three years in this sort of living I met a neighbour at my summer house. We came to talk about "life" and he told me that he was a sober alcoholic in AA. I told him that I had the same problem but that I was on my way out from active alcoholism. He asked me to go with him to an AA meeting this evening. I did and I was rather impressed of the friendly and calm atmosphere of this meeting.
Then I joined AA for many years - a group had started in my home town. When I told my story about my way to sobriety I was always told that I wasn't really sober - I had only fought with "white knuckles" during these years outside AA. I still get angry hearing such nonsense - I had rather had a harmonic time with my alcoholic friends and with myself. A demanding time and a lucky.
Being a non-believer wasn't always easy in AA. So much talking about God and the HP and at the same time AA had no connection to any sect (The Preamble). Lots of contradictions. Since I was a teenager I have had a secular view and this caused me intellectual problems all the time. At same time: AA was the only game in town. And I had got friends there who I really could rely on. I needed the friendly talking and these weekly sessions of good humor and discussions of important topics. I STILL NEED IT! It is rather curious; some members of AA are atheists, other agnostics, some true believers, others who want to believe but can't and some who think they are God themselves. All these people seem to get along in some way or another within AA.
A few years ago I got a new problem with AA. I was elected a member of the Literature Committee of central AA in Sweden and now one had decided to make a new translation into Swedish of the Big Book (the latest American edition). I wasn't directly put to work with the translation but I had to give my opinion about the translation and to help find suitable Swedish wordings when the translators were in doubt. It became more and more trying to be involved in this work. How could I have an opinion about religious matters that I regarded as nonsense? I decided to resign recently and I am happy for that.
Since I connected to Internet about a year ago I have checked homepages concerning humanism, skepticism and recovery from "-isms". I found SOS on the net this autumn and here I am. I STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT MY WAY TO SOBRIETY WAS THE WAY SOS TELLS US IN PRIORITY ONE. The only difference is that I had no name on my own way. My sobriety has to date lasted more than 16 years, so I am convinced that Priority One is the right way to follow. AA helped me in many ways during the years - you need friends along the road. I have read the books by James Christopher and I am a strong supporter of SOS.
I wish I could start SOS groups in my home country. Maybe I can, but it will take a lot of time. Although many Swedes are able to read and talk English, we can't have our meetings in English. We need to translate a lot of the available original literature (with permissions re copyright, of course) into Swedish. I cannot do it myself, I am 68 and have even other things to do. I guess that I must first send out the message that SOS exists and get some fellows joining me and SOS. When we are a gang here that can keep contact with one another and when the circumstances are favourable to get something successfully done, then it is the right time to start.
In the nearest future I have to be a "loner" in Sweden but it will be OK now that I have joined this group in the listserve.
I thank you all and I wish you all the best and I'm looking forward to taking part in this forum.
Tag inte den foersta! (Don't pick up the first one!)
Jan Armann, Sweden