I would like to speak to you as a recovering addict whose parents were her best enablers.
You don't have to reply, but I would like you to just think on what I share with you.
I now understand the pain of having a child in active addiction as I have one myself, and I also understand how easy it is to give in and just bail them out, either literally or figuratively speaking.
My parents always cushioned my falls for me, never allowing me to fully feel the consequences of my addiction.
It prolonged my active addiction for a long time.
When I was taken to rehab, I was literally days away from death. My counselor there said that had I not been brought in the day that I was, they were going to call the police to see if they could find me before I died.
I am 6' tall. I weighed 109 pounds at the time, pregnant, had blown out the veins in both my arms, and was too weak to hold my head up for long.
I wore a belt to keep my 28" waist jeans from falling off.
Tough love IS tough.
My parents almost loved me to death.
For me, when my oldest started her plunge into active addiction, I too struggled with the concept of letting go, and I almost lost myself all over again and was very close to relapse.
I realized I could never ever look at myself in the mirror if I continued to soften her falls, and not allow her to fully feel the consequences of her addictions.
Tough love IS tough. It's tougher to bury a child. Mine may find recovery, and she may not.
However, if I find myself at her graveside, I don't want to be standing there because I continued to enable her.
Just my two cents.