At this point in time I don't see that I will ever be the person that can live with AH and detach in love, the end of our relationship seems eminent, but I still can't see how to get from here to there. I guess maybe it's wanting to get from here to there without going through the pain, which also sounds crazy because it's been nothing but pain for a long time now.
Wow...thanks for summing it up for me. I exist exactly the way you described it. Too much water under the bridge. Does make detaching easier for me though...with love would be much harder! I feel sorry for him now...sad about what once was.
I have set up boundries that seem to be working so far...and I will continue to move froward to my goal of a more peaceful and livable life for me and mine.
Lily's right....
You will be ready to make the changes you need when you are ready, as funny as that sounds, it just happens at a different time for all of us.