JustMe,
There are so many of us who have found ourselves in the same place. It helped me a lot to learn that he wasn't doing it TO me, he was just doing it. Alcoholics drink because they are alcoholics. Alcoholics lie because they are alcoholics.
You really can have a better life whether your H decides to continue drinking or not. Keeping the focus on you and not on him allows you to make some healthy choices and changes.
Are you able to find any local Al Anon meetings? They really made a difference for me. Going to Al Anon saved my life, pure and simple.
Hugs
Cats