I am not excusing what he has done, but when I base my happiness on what another person does or does not do, I am bound to feel terrible and hopeless. Regardless of what he does or says you can choose to build a life for yourself based on you supporting you. Not you supporting him. But you supporting you.
If you have begun attending Al Anon, now would probably be a good time to find yourself a sponsor and make some friends in your group. These people will help you and show you how to create the happy life you want for yourself, regardless of your choice to leave him or stay with him.
Both my relationships were with A's who were sober and AA members, so soberity isn't a 'cure all' even though at first it may seem like it. I had to learn not to be the 'meeting police' the 'sponsor police' and 'steps police'. And I did this by learning from other Al Anon memebers, getting a sponsor and working their steps.