rivka

PLEASE HELP TO DECIPHER THIS ISSUE!!!

My xabf/friend/work colleague dude got out of rehab earlier this week. He came by the office for a quick minute to pick up some paperwork (he's still out for a few weeks)...i saw him...he smiled/winked at me, but didn't talk to anybody...he had to leave.

I thought it would be nice (not codie- just friendly) to leave him a voice mail message saying it was great to see him even for a minute, but that it would be great to keep in touch while he's out...and that I know things may be tough right now, but to hang in there and call on friends like me if he needs support...and that I'm not here to ask questions, just to look forward-- and be a friend if he needs one.

The text message I got back was saying things like "you will NEVER know what i've been through" and "don't assume you know what it's like.....stuff like that....VERY NASTY. Not the type of texts Im used to from him.

I replied, acknowledging that he is right, I DON'T know what its like... kindly, noting that Im not judging, Im just here as his friend.

HERE'S MY QUESTION....

When alkie/addicts get out of 6 weeks of intense rehab, and are attending two AA meetings/day, plus counseling, I KNOW they aren't "good as new"...I know there is alot of work to do...but I would think that their body/brain is detoxed and they are a bit more emotionally balanced to handle simple interactions.

I'm sure getting back into life adds some stress, but can someone clarify if this seems typical?

I don't want to use the word "normal", as this disease seems to have it's own set of rules. I know it's not "acceptable" to be spoken to like this, and to be made to feel like "I'm guilty", but I understand him being a bit crunchy.

My boundary is up, and I'm not catering to that behavior, but don't want to send a slew of text messages "asking" him to be nicer to me.

He needs to focus on himself...I get that.

I don't want to regret communicating with him. I did it from the heart...not as a scorned lover, or insecure Codie, but as a supportive friend.

I AM focusing on me...but should I cease communication with him for a while til he can settle in to a new routine?



thanks,
rivka