Well you have gotten some great advice above, here is what I would add.
Listened at tables about steps 6 &7, prayed for willingness to do things i dont want to do, dont do things i want to do.Working hard to make amends and then stopped at what seemed like some "easy" ones (work related, old high school nemesis who's now a cop)
Was this done with a sponsor?
Missing ex like crazy obsessively, borderline stalking behavior, called her boss repeatedly without talking .. old resentments coming up (he refused to talk when 9th step amends attempted)
Have you spoken to your sponsor about the above? I have a feeling that your sponsor would have told you not to make amends to your wifes boss if you were still doing stuff like that! How can one make amends to someone when they are still wronging them?
Right before six months stopped praying on knees and program has seem to go to "****" .. slacking on meeting... 2 months behind on mortgage, house a pigsty, got in accident in june got ticket for fleeing scene of accident (actually left car on side of highway and other party left the scene)
If I was were you are at I would hope I would be able to see a relapse coming if I did not take ACTION!!!!!
1. Prayer, prayer, & more prayer!
2. Meetings, meetings, & more meetings!
3. Work with sponsor, work with sponsor, and then work with him some more!!!
4. Service work, service work, & more service work.
5. Work on accepting that you can not change others such as your wife and her boss, work on accepting that you can not change others such as your wife and her boss, and then work on accepting that you can not change others such as your wife and her boss some more.
Focus on your sobriety, obsessing about others is not what you need to focus on.