Ahhhh.. I try SO hard not to snoop! I don't like myself when I do, and I wasn't like this before.
Clearly, if I'm snooping, I don't trust him 100%. He knows this though, so I don't have a problem bringing stuff up. But it's not a solution, and in fact exacerbates the problem.
Honestly though, I only found out about his Facebook because I just befriended his best friend and, when I went to her profile, I saw that she had just become friends with him as well (Facebook has this tracking thingy that tells you what people have been up to on Facebook). I wasn't even snooping, but this thing just came to me all on its own.
The thing is, he has a Myspace account and, in his active addiction, he didn't want to befriend me on it even when we had been going out for almost a year (he did have "in a relationship" as his status though). When he finally befriended me, he put me at the bottom of his Top 8 friends! Only recently did he put me as his #1! (after 3 years of being together!). As he says it's "his space."
I hate when he does that, which is why the Facebook thing is bothering me so much. But regardless of this particular instance, he omits things, period. For example, he didn't tell me that he started smoking again. He knew I wouldn't approve (and I don't), but it's his decision. I don't control him. But what kills me is that he didn't tell me about it. THAT is the problem, and I have talked to him about it. As long as he tells me the truth and doesn't hide things from me, I can deal with the rest.
The problem is that I am 98% sure that he is not doing anything wrong, but when these things pop up it really makes me doubt everything.
As for Al-Anon, I've been to a couple of meetings but I haven't been consistent with it. I tend to deal with my codependence through my yoga practice, though I know I should probably go to meetings more often.
What is ftf (face-to-face?) ESH?
Last edited by TwoOfHearts; 07-30-2008 at 12:32 PM.
Reason: forgot to answer question.