Hi raw,
In my al-anon meeting, there was no hand-holding or heavy religious overtone. They said a prayer at the end, but it a sort of non-denominational thing, more comforting than anything.
I guess my point is that there are all kinds of meetings out there. You might want to try a few different ones, and if it doesn't feel right, then stop. It doesn't cost anything, and you may trip over some gem of wisdom that you couldn't find any other way.
You can leave whenever you want - I left my home and rented a room near the college, very cheap and what a relief. There are situations like that in nearly every city and town in the world; check the newspaper. There might be something else that is compelling you to stay in that situation. maybe a counselor can help you figure out what it is.....I know that counseling was much more helpful to me than al-anon.