thanks everyone..i am not new to this, and i feel im still not any stronger than i was the first time here.
BTW--his DOC is coke.
He has a major problem looking at himself and taking responsibility....i dont think that all addicts are like this, i think that some at some point can take responsiblity...he reuses to look at what he is doing as destroying lives.....
i feel that there is something wrong with me because i let this go on for so long. i dont do anything about it..i stay and deal with it....he will not go for help to save our marriage..he said it in black and white..i think i need to talk about boundaries, my boundaries with my therapist. we are just discovering that i really was left with no one for support and encouragement at age 14. i thought my mom was there, but she really wasnt..she would leave me alone overnight and sleep at her boyfriends house....she didnt pay attention to my school work....etc...my dad moved across the country and didnt pay a dime.....and wasnt there for any emotinal support. no wonder i feel so helpless..i have never felt strong in my life...
thanks for being there friends.