Gwen, you got some great advice above. I could understand your frustration with your daughter. I believe it has to do with the age... my daughter is 11 and could drive me absolutely insane. She has an answer for everything, always says the opposite of what I say. At times I have to say I even have broken down crying because I was at a loss.
I think I might get the book mentioned above it may be helpful.
Well what I am trying to say is that you are not alone and you have people who understand where you are coming from because we are in similiar situations.
hugs,
Jewelz