Dear Gwen, What was said above is excellent advice. What Bernadette said is very valuable. The books are great resources. What she said about hypocrisy is so true. I have found kids become very legalistic. They see things either right or wrong, with them there is no shade of gray.
I can only speak from my own experience & Looking back ( 20 20 hindsight ) I didn't do a very good job with my kids. I was a single parent for 10yrs & I had sons & no daughters. I am not a man & never was a little boy so my priorities were different.
I do know that any litle thing I did wrong they would use against me. They used my behaviour to excuse their own. Plus they also pushed it way beyond anything I ever did.
Good luck with anything you try. I hope I can learn right along with you as now I am helping my son ( a single dad ) raise his 2 boys ages 6 & 3 and I am having trouble already with the 3 yr old Screaming matches really, no matter howyou try & talk to him he won't listen to you & screams at you!!!!
Diane