Gwen, I think we both know that once it becomes a screaming match, it is out of control for both of you.
You are the adult, you get to set the rules and enforce the consequences when broken. You also get to praise anything well done or worthy of praise.
She is at a difficult age...and I hate to say it but the next couple of years are likely to be very hormonal for her.
Counseling would be good, read the book that was suggested, but most of all find a way to talk to her that doesn't include screaming.
Hugs