22 years ago when my AH found sobriety the first time things were different for us. We were young, poor and I was willing to go through anything to save my marriage. That was best for me at that time. Fast forward 20 years and a relapse..2 teenage boys, a high paying career and a happy marriage. This time I would have stayed married, not living together, because the vows do mean everything to me to. The issue this time was that the drinking brought along it's other close friends of cheating and lying.
Those close friends broke my wedding vows and I could not, for my own sake, be married anymore. I care about my husband and hate this disease. I have seen him spiral downward but know I cannot save him. But I also have a disease to so I have to take care of my own recovery for the sake of our children so hopefully we can break this cycle.I think every situation is different and only you know what is best for you, your heart and your situation. "One day at a time" sometimes "1 minute at a time" and "Let Go and Let God" have gotten me through many a difficult day when I wasn't sure I could even get out of bed.