I feel for you, as my situation is somewhat similar. My DH is 12 1/2 yrs. older than me, and although I didn't think so 12 years ago, I realize now the age difference is catching up to us. I think as the As get older, they can't handle the alcohol as well, and that's when the disease really catches up to them ... and when we realize what has happened. My DH is not abusive, either, which I think almost makes it harder to leave. I worried about leaving my DH, too, as he makes about a 1/3rd of what I do & would have to support himself in his own place. I wrestled with it all for months & then realized, for my own sanity, I had to make the break and move out. It was one of the hardest things I've done, but it's finally giving me the time and space to focus on me & try to figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm still trying to figure things out, but at least the daily stress and drama of living with my AH are not longer there to cloud me. I wish you strength in finding out what's best for you.