chewdat

Newbie to this forum but not to this dark world my sister lives in. I just found alanon attended my second meeting last night. My sister has been an alcoholic and substance abuser for 10+ years. She is finally at the breakpoint and is about to lose her family. My brother in-law is at his wits end with accusations of her now having an affair he is unsure what he wants to do and at the same time my mom and other sisters are wanting to get her the help that she needs. My mom is terrified of talking to her scared that my sister will become angry. My other sister and I think we should voice our concerns in a kind and loving way not showing fault at all but letting her know that we are here to help her, if she wants help. Sorry if this is all over the place I am just typing as thoughts come out.

The other night I followed her from work (i felt sick to my stomach) but I felt like I had to. I wanted to know if she is seeing someone else I wanted to know where she was going was it to a hotel was she going to a bar???????? When she walked out of work I was on the phone with a good friend of mine and for a moment it looked like my sister had seen me (although I was 4 blocks away) she looked suspicious as if she was expecting someone to be following her. I got to the 2nd light and lost her. I decided then to just keep going her route home in hopes that is where she would be going. 5 o'clock is good if you are following someone I caught up to her and proceeded to follow her all the way home. I stayed 3 blocks away just to make sure that she was not expecting company (as my brother in-law works late and my nephew was with my mom) no one showed up and she didn’t leave so I went home.

Did I really do that? Is that what this all has come to me following her making sure she’s not going to a hotel to get high and drunk with some male companion. I later found out that she thinks she is being followed by the man's ex that she is apparently suppose to be seeing although she has told my brother in-law that is not true. Another thing I have learned about my sister she is a compulsive liar.

My mom’s worrying to the point of not sleeping at night my life has now become consumed with alcoholism literature, alanon meetings and constantly keeping in contact with my sister.

Thursday I went to my sister house unannounced. My husband and mom thought I should call and give some notice that I was coming over and I disagreed. It was 8:30 and I stopped by knocked on the door my beautiful and amazing 4yr old nephew shouted to the house Aunt L’s here. My sister came to the door and the moment she opened the door I knew she was drunk and high. She was surprised that I was there I said I was in the neighborhood and thought I would stop by. I asked where “D” (my brother in-law) was and she said in bed. See my sister and brother in-law don’t sleep in the same room anymore and have not for over a year. There is no communication in their household. My brother in-law literally hides in his office, which is now his sleeping quarters. He came out of the room and said Hi, I told him my car was making a weird noise (he didn’t believe me as I drive an 07’ infinite) but he played along and came outside with me. We talked alittle bit and he went back inside I told him that we are all concerned with her drinking and was hoping that we as a family could talk to her he said that his issues with her are more than her drinking and that he wasn’t sure if he could do that. While outside I looked back towards the house and there my sister was in the kitchen downing a tall boy she was drinking it like a glass of water. My sister drives like she drinks how fast can she get from here to there and how fast can she get that buzz.

Thank you for letting me share.