Berry76

Hey all, I need a little input from you guys.
My story is this, married to A, that I just left...
Most of his family are "on my side" but they wont do anything about it.
His parents now hate me, and threw me out because clearly it's my fault that he is the way he is, all though he was alcoholic when I met him... WTF was I thinking... Anyway I have written this letter that I wish to send to his sisters and nieces, they know but not everything. I wont send it to him or his parents.
I have x'ed out the names and If I send it I plan on instead of sending them the links here I will just copy what was written there.

So what do you think?
Should I send or or just say to H.ell with it and let it be.

Thanks for your time!



Hi everyone...

I just want to write you all this email. It's going to be long cause there is a lot of information here.

I know some of you probably think that I'm an ass and that I have done everything wrong, but I wanted to tell you my side of the story.

I have tried everything for xxxx and I have struggled and I have been a complete mess and at a total loss.
I could have taken the easy way out and left right from the beginning, but I was in Love and you do everything for the one you love.
He will still have a very special place in my heart, and he is/can be a very special person only the alcohol and drugs got the better of him.
And I cannot let my life go to waste as he will not accept he has a problem.
If you confront him on it the only thing that will come out of his mouth is what ever... He might yell and say if you only knew... and then there would be different "only knew" problems each time. But most of the time its just what ever...

I did NOT hide his pills. He had an empty pill bottle in HIS backpack, which I gave to xxx.
I then found another almost empty bottle in his sock drawer that I called her about, but again she choose to believe him and he said he didn't take those.
How come in a period of 15 days there was only 6 pills left and it was 30 originally if he didn't take them?
And there was another bottle on top if his dresser that was not empty.
And he was saying that I had taken the pills away from him and he couldn't find them and thats why he had a seizure. This is simply NOT true.

And I'm begging you to do something for him and not just sit back and let it happen... He needs to get into rehab 24/7 and relearn how to live a normal life.
xxxx didn't believe it was such a big deal and xxxx idea of helping him was "son you need to watch your drinking" And that would be the end of it.
I left in a hurry, because I was no longer welcome in the house anymore.

I am really worried about him, and I hope that me leaving would wake him up and hit rock bottom... BUT Txxx and xxxx believes in him completely and they are enabling him.
And before xxx went to the hospital she said they would now give him the help he needs, which has now turned to he is a grown man and can drink if he wants to...

The problem is that it is not 1 or 2 beers a night, it's at least 6-12 a night which defines and alcoholic, if it's a special occasion it will be more than that, and then add the prescription drugs into the equation...
If he drinks ONLY beer most of the time you really can't tell if he's drunk, if he does it over the whole night.
And they may say oh well it's only beer... Yes it is "only" beer, BUT he'll drink the beer, go into the house do what ever and then come out take a few pills, and they hit him right away, he would barely be able to walk to the bed and he would pass out within seconds. But because they didn't see this I was clearly the one making up stories. They are helping him to slowly kill himself by ignoring and refusing to see the facts instead of the reality.
And the root to his problem probably lies with the war and what he had to do there and had to go through, that's not an excuse that's a cause.

I have been given promises after promises, and I have been lied to over and over again.
I have been worried sick to death so many times cause he would drink heavily and then drive home. He could have not only killed himself but others too.
But no pleas and begging ever worked.
I have been left at places when he was suppose to pick me up, only for him to show up hours later drunk.

xxxx joined the National Guard and was quickly transfered to a unit that he seemed to like really well I was really happy for him.
He was away from home and I was taking care of things at home.
He didn't want to tell anyone about it, so I didn't which was probably not right looking back.
He had a really good thing going for him, and he was with a special forces unit and he was going to go to airborne school and get his rigging certificate. Things where looking really good.
The unit was getting deployed but he wasn't allowed to go since he had classes to do before, so the day before he was going to airborne school he failed his physical, he's knee didn't hold up.
The the Army was going to fix this for him.
He did get screwed around a lot with that whole ordeal... So instead of dealing with it he got out, but before he did so he went and bough fake certificates for airborne school, sniper, school, rigging, school, sear school and I think it was something else. He even had a fake DD240 made up... However the army caught on to him and found out, so he was now facing court marshall and a possible dis honorable discharge. He did get out of this though because he wrote his commander that he only did this to please his father who had terminal cancer and his dying last wish was to see his son graduate from airborne school.
It was while in the army that he started doing the prescription drugs, and I tried and pleaded with him, but with no luck.
Maybe if you read up on Xanax you can see how dangerous this drug is.
He was buying the strongest available online the 2mg and these are only allowed to be used for severe cases of anxiety and panic attacks and under strict supervision of a doctor.
Well if you are you under supervision you are suppose to take one a day, he was taking up to 5 a day...
I finally had enough and took the pills away from him and I would administer them to him. Only to find out he had bought more..
And this is when he had to be rushed to the hospital...
He flew over the living room table, and had one seizure at home he was cramping, foaming around his mouth and going completely ballistic... Before the ambulance showed up he had come out of it, but he had no idea what year it was, what had happened or anything. So the Ambulance takes him away and I follow in my car.
Once at the hospital he had 2 more seizures, and this is not a pretty sight and it could have just as well killed him.
Here is some info on the type of pills he's taking and the fact that he doesn't take them as prescribed is only making it worse.

What Are Barbiturates?

More than 2,500 varieties of barbiturates exist. Doctors prescribe barbiturates to treat anxiety, agitation, and insomnia, and give them to patients before surgery to make them drowsy. Some barbiturates help control medical conditions such as high blood pressure, epilepsy, and ulcers. However, barbiturates are also sold in the illegal drug market with street names like "downers" and "goof balls." People under the influence of barbiturates behave as if they are drunk on alcohol. They lose their inhibitions and show marked changes in their behavior. In many individuals, side effects include nausea, nervousness, rash, and diarrhea. People on barbiturates may have difficulty thinking and making decisions; they may be emotionally unstable, lack coordination, be disoriented, and have slurred speech.

Is It Dangerous To Mix Depressants With Other Drugs?

Drug abuse is a vicious cycle. Users often take drugs to counter the effect of other drugs they are taking. But, taken in combination with alcohol or other drugs, depressants can kill. Because of their anti-depressant effects, cocaine users take depressants to reduce the depression at the end of a binge. Drug users commonly are cross-addicted. Alcoholics use depressants to reduce the withdrawal from alcohol. Alcoholics also use depressants to become intoxicated, without the associated odor of alcohol. Mixing depressants and alcohol can depress the respiratory and cardiovascular systems, often with deadly consequences. Because knowledge of this dangerous drug interaction is common, many people attempt suicide by taking high doses of depressants with alcohol.

You have all seen this behavior on him. But what you haven't seen is that it is every day...
If you have the chance to watch Intervention on A&E that might be helpful.

Here is a good link to read about alcoholism and different ways of enabling the person
I had a link here to "ways to enable", but it wont allow me to post that here...

And this link pretty much describes the situation that I have been in
This was a link to "I loved him"

I don't know what I want with this email...
I just wanted to let you all know what I have been dealing with and my side of the story..
If you made it all the way down here: Thank you!
If you have any questions, please contact me. I will be available on email from time to time.

Take care all!
Love