taintedlove

hey there, i just signed up for an account on sober recovery today when i was googling the expression " girlfriend supports drug addict boyfriend" because i know how it feels and i bet all you people here know how it exactly feels when our beloved one is sent to rehabilitation over and over through time: we just get a deep sensation of guilt because we feel responsible of understanding their world and their recovery needs. i have failed through my relationship with my addicted boyfriend to understand his needs and what exactly he expects from me. he always asked me to be there and i truly was there ... keeping him away from trouble as much as i could and keeping him busy with "me" from all the world of addiction which seemed to be the only one he was familiar with for over 9 years of his life.
he is now in rehab getting a cure and all i hope is to find someone who could enlighten me about why does he act this way? (fear of commitment and lack of responsibility with a NEUTRAL attitude about everything even my feelings and an extreme temper)
i have googled all the links possible about drugs and drug abusers and i cant seem to really find the right word to guide me, us to a healthy relationship...i need someone that tells me more than "communication is important" because he is never willing to open up and as strange as it sounds, he avoids serious conversations or arguments saying that they will eventually end up by a fight.. the only thing that motivates him to talk about is "his druggie days' incidents" which he constantly repeated to me and thought of as funny and relieving..
Also another point, i believe that every cure he got on his four rehabs faced relapses because the doctors prescribed him anti depressants and sleeping pills and analgesics in heavy doses to enable him to sleep and keep a positive attitude. but those pills and medications seem to me as harmful as drugs and he abuses them in larger quantities than prescribed... he told me once how all his drug abuse problems were the follow up of his "chemicals' addiction" and this quite what's happening...
Any advices people? it would help a young man carrying a better life..
Thanks and sorry for over writing