For me, I don't look at walking away from something that is so bad for us as a failure. Not saying it's easy either, but failure was not one of the words I would have used to describe how I personally felt. I know I tried. I did my work. I was willing to work and open to anything that would help. That wasn't a failure.
This digging in and not leaving "their" house/home seems to be a very common thread. I was just talking about this with someone the other day; the unwillingness of the addict to be the one to say - I've really screwed up and I know I should be the one to leave and start again, I've already put you thru enough. So many just won't do it, and for our own sanity we have to leave. They are incapable and unable to do this. But, you know what? When I left and packed my stuff, my "home" bit by bit was being packed into those boxes and bit by bit, while I was unpacking - I am in my home. It feels good, it is addiction free, and I don't miss the previous structure. Do I necessarily think it was "right" - maybe not, but that doesn't matter - happiness and health are ahead of me, and I want that more than anything.
I'm sorry you are having to do all the work, I know that's what it felt like for me too, but just remember that by doing the work, you are going to benefit from it - your life is going to be better. You are going to have better tools to have a more fulfilled, peaceful life. YOU are definitely worth that - don't you think?
Good luck to you! (((hugs)))