hi, i understand how hard this must be for you, but i agree with the others. maybe you and her daughter can write for a while. good that you are seeking help in keeping the child and not allowing her to manipulate you by using the child.
maybe in a childlike manner you can explain to your neice that her mom is there getting the help that she needs and that it maybe be better for all of you if you didn't go visit so often and that you both can write her on the weeks that you choose not visit. also, if you decide to, maybe you could send cigs since thats her excuse for wanting money. just a thought, anyway i'm praying for all of you and a special prayer for your neice.