Have you heard the phrase "Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes"
That can seem so harsh and difficult - but in truth - it can be one of the most loving things we can use to help everyone in these situations.
Sometimes the most healthy, supportive thing we can do for our loved ones is to leave them alone. To not allow ourselves to be a pawn in the manipulation, to say in the most compassionate way . . .
"It appears you are having a difficult day today, so I think I'll end our visit early today. I hope the next time the circumstances will be where we can visit in a healthy environment for both of us. I know that is what I would like, I'm sure that is what is best for your daughter and I'm truly believe deep inside that is what you wish for too."
I have had to say things like this in talking with my loved ones that are affected by alcoholism, addiction and all those other things that go along with these diseases. It is painful and heartbreaking but it does give everyone self-respect.
It especially can be a good example to the younger eyes & ears that are exposed to this that it is ok to have healthy boundaries and NOT accept unacceptable behaviors.
It takes lots of strength, courage, and wisdom to break this cycle - I'll be praying that your HP will help you to know what is best for you and for your niece.
Wishing you serenity & joy,
Rita