krhea75,
It's funny, how on one hand we truly believe we are "Helping" them get back on their feet when we let them come home. Actually the opposite is true, we are harming them by not letting them assume responsibility for their own lives.
While at the same time, we deserve to live OUR lives happy and guilt free.
You're doing a good job, being strong, and thinking things through, and setting a wonderful example for others.