addicts do and say what will work for them. none of his actions is your fault,you have nothing to feel guilty about. maybe it would help if you if you could find a way to detach from all those who want you to take the blame. i can't count the many times i've done the same things as you and i'm sure we are not the only ones here. it only gets worse unless he decides to get help for himself. there is nothing you can do to help him short of helping yourself. i'm sure you've done all you could so far to help.
i've heard it all before and in my active days, i've said it all myself. i don't doubt he loves you but only in the way he knows how, not the way you need to be loved, besides, he has to love himself first and so do you. hang in there, stand your grounds. in taking care of you and your needs, you will probably help him more than you know.
try not take it personal but for now, seems like his first love is his doc. you are a caring person and i'm sure he knows how to get to you, but you don't have to let him or the others. i think you are doing good. still praying for you and yours