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Old 07-08-2008, 03:05 PM
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Barbara52
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I had no children with my xAH. But I did go thru a divorce from my childrens' father when they were young. I would think the basics are very much the same except that you also have to figure out the "rules" for when the spouse is active in their alcoholism. There My only suggestion is to consult with an attorney to find out the legal ways to handle visitation and such. Deciding on one's own to limit visitation can cause legal difficulties.

In general, back when the boys' dad and I split, we worked very hard (with some success most of the time) at making sure:

neither of us bad mouthed the other,

stressed to the boys that it was an adult problem and in no way their fault,

stressed that both parents loved them very much no matter what,

were flexible in terms of the other have access to the kids for holidays and special occasions,

got the boys counseling when it seemed necessary

had different rules in each household that suited our parenting styles but respected the rules of the other parent where possible

tried very hard to act in the best interest of the boys regardless of what we personally wanted
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