I feel I am getting sick just from depression. I have completely isolated myself. I have no energy and cannot make decisions. I know you all have felt the same thing.
Some of us have gotten sick to the point of hospitalization - many of us have ended up with medication. I ended up with a heart condition from the constant adrenaline in my system. THIS is why we say take care of US first... we can't help them if we die first!
Of course none of us wants him to die - but like Moose, I've discovered something about "them" and "us"....they lie and we believe the lies.
His absolute refusal to see a physician is very, VERY suspicious to me. He keeps you entirely in the dark about the true nature of his condition, and does not for even a MINUTE consider the danger he might be putting you in, if he really did have a blood borne illness? Leaving bloody knives around... that sounds like grandstanding and drama - letting you see how much damage he's done. And now, telling neighbors information that he won't give you directly? What is up with that?
Rehabs are not intended to "cure" anything - they are like little schools of instruction that help addicts understand addiction, break through delusion and denial and get some tools to help them with relapse and recovery. Repeated rehab says to me that the addict WANTS help... not that the rehab has failed.
Meetings only help if I am willing to take the information handed me. I was told I didn't cause addiction, that I couldn't CONTROL addiction and that I could never CURE addiction. Seems like a simple concept, but I find myself falling back into believing I CAN control it from time to time - that is a natural bent we codependent people have. That is OUR illness, which conveniently fits quite nicely with the addicts self-serving need to be cared for.
You sound very much in pain... just as the addict who lives with you is very much in pain. It sounds like you could use a break.... just as your addict could use a break. Most of us have found some help in the 12 step recovery programs - both codies and addicts. But what we cannot do is make anyone "willing".... neither your addict, or you.
For me, that willingness came from pain. MY pain. MY desperation. MY fear. MY loneliness. In that way too, we are like the addict. We come into recovery for selfish reasons.
I wish I could give you the name of a program that could guarantee addiction recovery... but I can't, because recovery is personal and up to EACH PERSON. And it comes from within.
You came all the way across the country to rescue him... yet he was somewhat ok in a shelter when you arrived. And it was from information you got from HIM that made you jump to try and fix his mess.
Addicts are sly, wiley, crafty and wise. They can manipulate and manage others very well - that is how they survive in the horrible world of addiction. Knowing that helped to let my children go, when I had to, knowing that though they were in a dark place - they were not alone. They each have a Higher Power, and they each have some very good basic survival skills. From the sounds of it, your addict friend has those skills, too. He may be dying - but then, aren't we all?