Thank you again, you are all very caring. I thank you so much for taking time out of your lives to offer your words of experience and sharing and caring to me a stranger. I do wish you all the best. I will read and reread the posts. I know that taking action will be near impossible. But maybe I will find the strength. I do feel I may be getting sick myself. Not from the staph (I am actually very very careful, wear disposable gloves when cleaning, do not share any personal items and all utensiles are cleaned and double cleaned in a very hot dishwasher. I bleach door handles etc and clothing and bedding and cover all cuts with prescribed antibiotic cream and bandaids as well as wash my hands many many times throughout the day). I feel I am getting sick just from depression. I have completely isolated myself. I have no energy and cannot make decisions. I know you all have felt the same thing. I truly believe that the understanding of addiction is so primitive and that judgementalism gets in the way of finding true solutions. When I hear of people 4 and 5 times in rehab I think that rehabs don't help. Maybe harm reduction helps. I also think that the government and powers that be (cartels etc) want there to be drugs on the street. It is sick but true. They are making huge dollars and simply are tied in to very high levels of powerful money people who are also tied into high levels of government, policing and the army. Sorry but I am a bit of a conspiracy theorist. The drugs are so readily available where I live that you can order up crack and down and get it in less time than pizza delivery.