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I can relate, and I feel for you. I know how bad panic attacks can be. I too was on ativan, and am now taking neurontin..which is pretty much working for me so far except for the side effects. But, before the ativan and neurontin I lived in almost a constant state of fear and obsession. I was constantly checking my pulse with my fingers..went to the er a few times..ect and pretty much always felt on the verge of losing it. The best thing you can do, if you possibly can is to spend as little time thinking and worrying about having an attack as you can, because indeed doing so can make you feel worse. I know it's not easy, but try to relax. I'm glad you have the dogs. I know mine are a constant comfort. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers..b