(((MG)))
Thank you for sharing this article and your own struggle. My FIL chose my hubby as his scapegoat. Over the years we as a couple, and my hub in his own right, learned ways & used varied techniques for different situations, times etc. We would act in ways to distract, diffuse, ignore, and sometimes confront his behavior.
There have been periods of time when he acted out that we just stayed away.
He knew why too...although we never actually said 'you did such & such so we aren't going to be around for awhile.'
The saddest thing was when my FIL 'chose' one of OUR kids to act out with...and once we found out about it we did confront him and we used the word "abusive" too. He was shocked and basically speechless....and knew that his bullying was over with.
Thankfully the behavior stopped but then again we never allowed him to be alone with that child ever again. Can you guess which of my kids was my initial qualifier for Al-Anon? Yep...that one.
I understand the dilemma you face with someone who is elderly and ill...but you are worth being treated with love and respect. I hope you will find a way to put yourself in a 'safe' place whether you are in that environment or not.
Thanks again for sharing.
