DII,
My AH had 24 days till last night. He's got a new trick now. Before, he'd wait till I went to bed, and tell me he was going to stay up until his Benadryl kicked in. He takes Benadryl because he says he can't sleep from the alcohol withdrawal. So, he'd get tanked and then stumble into bed later. Less chance of me ruining his buzz that way.
Lately, I've been staying up later. It's summer, it's just a cycle. I'm not intentionally staying up later because of him, I just watch tv, get online, talk to my relatives on the west coast on the phone, etc. So, last night, I was talking to my bro in California and he kept coming in and pretending to fix the tv for me, or to pick up my bowls, or just basically be a nuisance. His cravings must have been super strong. I didn't realize he was intentionally trying to annoy the hell out of me so that I'd get off the phone, but it worked. Then he said he was going to bed and asked if I was too. Yep, so we went to sleep..... or so I thought.
I woke up at midnight and used the bathroom. Went to the kitchen to get a drink of water and saw him googly eyed in the recliner. So now he thinks we'll go to bed together and then he'll get up and get his buzz on.
Whatever. I'm not going to tell you what you need to do in terms of drastic changes. For this very second though, I'm going to simply tell you that last night I didn't say anything and went back to bed. My mind attempted to take off like a horse out of the gates, but I reigned it back in. Reminded myself that this is his problem, not mine. I'm deserving of sleep and I wasn't going to lose it because of his decision. I paid attention to my pulse and kept my thoughts to a minimum and I went back to sleep.
Don't let yourself get caught up in the drama. Whether you decide to divorce her today or 10 months from now, or whenever, keep your sanity right now. You deserve it. Don't lose it. Pay attention to where your mind goes when she's drinking, and talk yourself down.