drainedwife

SOmeone told me on this forum to write downmy boundareis and their consequences, should they be broken. I think that is a very good idea---Im gong to wait until i get back from vacation just because my kids (and me) deserve a relaxing, calm vacation with no tension between their father and mother....my ah doesnt realize in know he's using again...if i bring it up it will cause fighting, arguements, tension in the house...and i dont want that.

Anyway, i need help because i have a feeling that this is what will happen..ill ell him i know he's using again, and i am not going to live like that again...ill tell him that i don not want that CR*P in the house, and he'll deny that he is using....if i think he is using in the house, he will deny it.....if i find residue he will say its not coke...if i tell him i know there was cashadvances..then he'll know i was snooping, and put a security code on the card so that i cant call and find out how much he is taking out...(the card is only in his name).

How do i fight this??? Do i just put my foot down and say no drugs inthe house, if i find anything even resembling coke, than you have to move out!!
He wont go!!!! what other consequence can i give???? He wont listen to me anyway....do i threaten to leave?? in knwo i have to be good and ready and no threats---

so ya see-- i really need help with this--
basically its like he is always in control--he will just deny and lie his way out of everything.....

thanks....